My boss was trying to have our monthly one-on-one meeting the other day. I had to leave soon and these meetings take longer than anticipated. I had to leave at 11:00 and he came up to me trying to have the meeting at 10:45. These meetings usually last 45 minutes so I’d have to wait until 11:45 to leave. Then I noticed something. I noticed this new girl he hired has a Celtic Cross tattoo on her forearm. My boss has a Celtic Cross tattoo on his wrist. My boss was trying to pull me into the meeting when I said “Hey Catherine, you and Sunny have the same tattoo!” And they both noticed in complete awe. The names are fake, but the situation is real. From that moment on I got the TV fixed and for the next 15 minutes, Catherine and Sunny had a conversation about tattoos. This gave me time to fix the TV and avoid my monthly meeting. These monthly meetings are timed out very well so I am safe from that dreadful meeting for another month at least. I distracted my boss by averting his attention to a commonality he has with someone. So the first rule to being observant in order to distract someone is to find a commonality they can discuss with someone else ad nauseam.
The ability to distract worthless people from your work and what you are trying to accomplish is a massive life hack. It gives you less pressure and more clarity to focus on your work. And you will not have the misfortune of people trying to make you feel inadequate for what you are trying to do.
The tattoo example is a simple one. How do you distract someone from and get them to focus on someone or something else when the obvious tattoo situation isn’t there? There was this dude I met at a wedding party. He tried getting way too buddy-buddy with me. I was clearly puzzled and wondering why he was trying to get so close, and no, he’s not gay. So how did I figure him out? I observed how he behaved with other people around him. At that point, I know why he tried to get buddy-buddy with me. He knows I have a lot of attractive female friends and he was trying to get me to help him get one. So I went along with it. I asked this girl to help this guy get to know the rest of our friends. She is a very nice girl who I could tell her personality would be compatible with this guy. So for the next four hours, my female friend and he got acquainted and I observed in awe at just how I easily I could do that. All I had to do was shut the fuck up and observe somebody as if I was Morgan Freeman being the narrator for an Academy Award-winning film.
The two examples I gave were done in little situations and many of you wondering how you can do this when it actually counts. The answer is the little situations add up little by little to be the sum that is your whole life. You need to learn to stop these things at the micro-level. If you let these situations bring you down then you will never get ahead in life. Learn to distract those who mean nothing to you and your development as a human being. Many of these situations will do nothing but add unnecessary stress to your life. You cannot get ahead if you are in a perpetual state of stress. The situation I described with my boss is a prime example. He is using his position to belittle me. And you can only ignore being belittled for so long and eventually you begin to wonder whether those who belittle you might be right.
With that being said. When someone wants to distract you from them get the hint before they do something to get them away from you. It will save your ego from getting hurt. Hypothetically I meet a friend I have not seen in a while. We make plans to go out for dinner and when we do he seems very standoffish. By him being standoffish you should make an excuse to leave immediately. He will try and do the same to you and you’ll end up being the one who feels like his ego is hurt. If you can tell he needs an excuse to leave then you just leave. Do yourselves both that favor. The lesson here is: learn when you are the one who needs to be distracted. No point in associated with those who don’t enjoy your presence.
The presence of people is all that matters in life. You are who you associate with. And if you associate with those who you constantly need to distract yourself from then YOU, yes I mean YOU are the one who is being distracted by people who you want to be around.
The best way to avoid being the target of a distraction play is to surround yourself with people who want to be with you. The guy at the wedding party. Me distracting him was a dick move. That situation was one of humor. He wasn’t trying to belittle me or put me down.
The real lesson here is to distract those from you who add nothing but negativity to your life. An annoying drunk guy at a party trying to be your friend isn’t good for being distracted. It’s a wedding party everyone is annoying and drunk. But in your professional life learn to distract your competition. It will get you higher up the food chain.